While You Were Offline: The Internet Spent Halloween Watching an Impeachment Vote

Let's get the big news out of the way first: Last week, the one everyone just wrapped up, will likely go down in history as the moment in time where, on All Hallows' Eve, the US House of Representatives voted to formalize the rules of the impeachment proceedings against President Trump. It was a big deal. But it was only the beginning. It was also the week during which Senator Elizabeth Warren released her Medicare for All plan, the site Deadspin basically died after its writers resigned en masse in protest against management, Google misunderstood its shopping list and bought the company Fitbit instead of just getting itself a fancy wristband, and Twitter banned political advertising. All things considered, that might actually count as a quiet week given the state of things lately. Here's everything people have been talking about online over the past seven days, Halloween costumes excluded.

What Happened: Well, now it's officially official: The House of Representatives has voted in favor of an impeachment inquiry of President Trump's behavior with regards to Ukraine and other foreign policy decisions.

What Really Happened: The ongoing question of whether or not the president committed an impeachable offense in his dealings with Ukraine has been the subject of a formal inquiry since the end of September, with that investigation including many closed door testimonies. Faced with this information, Republicans have responded by questioning the process itself, complaining that there was no vote to formally authorize the inquiry—even though there didn't need to be one.

Then, this happened.

Yes, the House has voted for the impeachment inquiry, removing one of the Republican roadblocks to actually investigating what’s going on at the White House. But what does this actually mean?

The White House, of course, was prepared to declare the process invalid.

As was (checks notes) the subject of the impeachment inquiry.

Once again, you’d think certain citizens of Salem, Massachusetts, would disagree, but we digress. As it happened, the president actually met with Republican senators, promising them campaign financing if they spoke out against impeachment—despite the fact that they will, ultimately, be his jurors when the matter reaches the Senate, leading many to accuse him of attempting bribery in the process. Things really weren’t going his way. If only there was someone else to defend him. Someone like, say, his daughter Ivanka. Could reality’s Shiv Roy make things better? Well...

As Ivanka Trump seemingly compared her dad to Thomas Jefferson, Twitter watched, agog. Still, one good quote apparently deserved another.

Others, meanwhile, acknowledged the similarities between Presidents Trump and Jefferson.

Well, at least no one on the president’s side marked the vote with a prank that entirely backfired.

The Takeaway: What’s next is likely going to be quite a thing to watch.

What Happened: President Trump attended a World Series game. Not everyone was happy to see him.

What Really Happened: So, now it’s official that the president is the subject of an open impeachment inquiry, but that doesn’t mean he wasn't already unpopular in some circles for quite some time. Indeed, just look at what happened when he ventured out to enjoy some sports earlier in the week. At first, everything seemed pretty straightforward. Or, at least, as straightforward as things can be when you have a Secret Service detail.

And then, people realized he was there. It didn’t go well.

It wasn’t just booing and yelling "Lock him up!", either. There was also something for those hard of hearing, too.

Still, the booing didn’t seem to exist in every reality, or at least, on every broadcast.

And here’s the thing. It wasn’t a one-off, as became clear Wednesday night when a Trump campaign ad was screened at the final game of the series and, well, listen.

It was a game—and series—that the Washington Nationals won, which can only mean one thing.

The Takeaway: It was, if nothing else, a cathartic time for many. And we don’t mean the actual sports part of it all.

What Happened: It wasn't just during the World Series. Chicago demonstrated en masse against Trump last week—and he had no problem hitting back.

What Really Happened: President Trump’s week didn’t improve when, the day after his baseball boos, he headed to Chicago to address a police conference. He didn't get the warmest of welcomes, as thousands took to the streets to protest.

It was quite the turnout. So, how did the president respond?

The speech, filled with attacks on the city and its inhabitants, made headlines for its cruelty. Chicago police superintendent Eddie Johnson and Mayor Lori Lightfoot responded to the president’s criticism swiftly.

The Takeaway: Meanwhile, one former US president has a much different take on the Windy City.

What Happened: You’d think that the internet would be in favor of a dog getting a medal, but apparently not, given what happened when President Trump tweeted out a weird Photoshop midweek.

What Really Happened: So, what else did the president get up to last week? I mean, besides declaring he’s now a Florida resident? The answer might surprise you—unless you were expecting him to give a medal to a dog on Twitter.

This is, for those wondering just what is happening, a reference to the dog in the raid that killed ISIS leader Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi; a dog that he described as “beautiful” and “talented”. It was surprising that the president—the first in decades who doesn’t own any kind of pet, because, and this is real, he announced it would feel “a little phony”—was celebrating a pup, especially since he has a history of comparing people unfavorably to them.

The dog became an internet celebrity after initial reports of the raid mentioned not only his role chasing down al-Baghdadi in the last moments of his life but also that he’d been injured in the process. Who doesn’t love an injured war veteran story?

The president’s photo of the medal ceremony made many, well, kind of suspicious.

For what it’s worth, the actual subject of the photo wasn’t nearly as upset as others on his behalf—or upset at all, really.

We know this because Trump’s tweet became an actual news story, somehow, with people reporting on the fake photo as an example of Trump sharing misinformation. However, there were other reasons it was potentially newsworthy, too.

Some people couldn’t help but wonder what others would feel about Trump sharing the image.

Whereas others were just imagining another world where things turned out differently, in a victory for Photoshoppery.

To make matters more 2019, a day of internet obsession with a dog with a classified name finished with this.

The Takeaway: Given that Trump is a known germaphobe, there was more than a small amount of irony about the fake photo in the first place.

What Happened: Everyone is welcome at the library. Even if they’re not human.

What Really Happened: There’s only so often you can call them trash pandas before a raccoon is going to try to better itself. That’s why last week’s announcement that raccoons have taken over the library at Arkansas State University is, really, something we should all have seen coming. Twitter, go to town. You’ve got this.

The Takeaway: You did your job, internet. You did your job.

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